The slow-down

"For fast-acting relief, try slowing down." - Lily Tomlin

I think I know what happened to me. Somewhere along the line, I truly forget to breathe and just slow down myself and everything around me. And that's how I lost control.

I got stressed about losing weight, I got stressed about thinking about having another baby, I got stressed about work, I got stressed about Logan growing too fast. I just couldn't take it anymore. And so I fell. I feel like I fell 30 stories...

I will say that I have not had another binge and purge episode. Positive news. But I've just gone through a few days of some of the worst pain I've ever felt, comparable to childbirth.

Saturday through Monday I endured the worst pain in my head in my whole life, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I did see my doctor and got a prescription that helped, so I am feeling a whole lot better, but I can only wonder if all the recent stressors brought it on.

I took some time off this weekend, off from life, mainly to deal with the pain. John was amazing taking care of the baby and other things around here, so I am very thankful for that. I needed that slow-down like you wouldn't believe. But is medicine the only other way I can deal with this? I'm hoping not. I'm hoping I can learn that taking the time to slow down is important, and that everyone needs that. I guess before I just thought that there is no way I could take that time for myself with everything I have going on. I need to remember that when I don't, things come crashing down pretty hard to the point of incapacitation.

Whatever I do, I can't let it happen again and have to keep my eyes set on my #1 goal- my health. That includes physical and mental. I am within 6 lbs of my Weight Watchers goal, and within 11 lbs of my overall goal. I'm so close, and in the end, I will have lost 87 lbs. It's such an incredible achievement. We're running a 15K (9.3 miles) in a few weeks, and I am really excited to add that to my list of fitness accomplishments. Just one more- the 1/2 marathon- in March and I'll know I did well :)

This hasn't been easy, but nothing in life worth fighting for ever is. I'm fighting to finish this race, but damn, it will feel so amazing in the end.