A Valentine Surprise

Could it be pink? Could it be blue?

We have some news to share with you.

It's true that come 10.6.12 there'll be

Another lovebug in our family!

With happy hearts we announce

Baby Stuckling Part II

We found out on January 29th that we'll be expecting our 2nd little stuckling in October. My first thoughts? Shocking. I know I had mentioned I was wanting another one, but it actually coming true was a major shock. I had only been off birth control since early December, so it was really unexpected. But it happened, so I guess God thought we were ready for it. We're scared since there is so much change coming up, but we are so EXCITED! AHHHH! Ok, freakout over.

We're going to keep it on the down-low for another few weeks. I have had beta blood tests done to make sure things are going ok. I had a little bit of bleeding before I took the HPT, which I had mistaken for my period. But like with Logan, I had a 2-day long period and then it was gone. I knew that Sunday morning that I was pregnant. Talk about deja vu. The doctors have been cautious just because of the bleeding, but I had an early ultrasound on Monday and everything is on track. My OB saw a little bit of blood still in there and wants to do another ultrasound next week to check up again, but he's optimistic that everything will be fine.

So that's the story. I made these giant heart shaped cookies with the little Valentine poem attached to them last week and mailed them to my parents, John's sister, and Nellie to announce to our immediate families and closest relatives. My parents shared the news with my grandparents too and a couple other family members. I couldn't say anything on here until Nellie got hers, since her package arrived late and she didn't get it until today.

We'll probably make the bigger announcement to everyone when we go on our cruise. I have a special plan for announcing it then :) We'll have at least 1 more, maybe 2, ultrasounds by then and know that everything is going well.

I've been extremely tired and nauseous. I remember it being like this in the beginning with Logan, but this is a whole new level. I'm green all day long! I finally got myself some ginger ale and jolly ranchers today and they were like magic. I remembered from when I was pregnant before that they work wonders for morning sickness. Other than that, I'm doing ok.

So how does this change my weight loss and fitness goals? It doesn't. I will still hit my WW goal. I'm 2 lbs away, and my doctor ok'ed me sticking with it until the end of my 1st trimester, or until I'm showing. There's no harm in losing a couple more lbs as long as I'm getting proper nutrition and am not depriving myself at all. I actually lost 3.4 lbs the week after my positive HPT. I hadn't really changed anything I was doing- I think my body is just working extra hard cooking up a baby :) As for fitness, I plan to keep running and keep up with zumba. I like doing those things, and I've become fit enough that I do not want to throw it away. I plan on having a really healthy pregnancy and gaining minimal weight (under 20 lbs.) I've worked really hard to get to where I am and want to maintain my lifestyle and give the baby the best I can. I'm already 30 lbs less than I was when I got pregnant with Logan, so I know I'm starting off in a good spot.

So even though looking at food makes me want to toss my cookies right now, I'm doing my best to still get healthy food in me. I was pretty impressed with myself for still cooking a great dinner for Logan and I tonight even though I've been feeling like poo and John is away on business this week. It makes for a very tired mama chasing after a toddler while trying to hold down the rest of the fort. I can do it though, and I'll be fine!

Smiles. Many smiles. Fingers crossed that they're here to stay!

Blown into flame again

“Sometimes our light goes out but is blown again into flame by an encounter with another human being. Each of us owes the deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this inner light.”
― Albert Schweitzer

I'm going to try to explain it...

Somewhere in the last few moths, my flame again went out. However, like it did long ago, it was blown back into a flame. I've started thinking about myself and what I value about my life and what I bring to other peoples' lives, and I've realized that it's the best way to describe me. Sometimes I am a flame, glowing strong and proud. Other times, I flicker when the wind blows. And sometimes, when that wind gets strong enough, my light goes out, and I live in darkness for awhile. But I know there will always be someone in my life to rekindle my heart and my spirit and make me glow once again. To each and every one of you who read my blog, you are those people, and one in specific (you know who you are). I can't thank you enough.

I'm writing this because something happened to me this last weekend and I had a breakthrough. I can't really explain it, but I just have an overwhelming sense of happiness with how things are. In the midst of what's to come with moving out of our home and rearranging Logan's whole life, I still felt really happy about where we're going.

I think it was Laura... We finally got word from her that she will be unable to come with us. It was heartbreaking, but I know she needs to do what's best for her and her family. However, even being in a heartbreaking situation, where in any normal circumstance my light would be blown out, I kept steady and strong. For one of the first times in awhile, I dealt with my feelings, and I cried it out. And it felt good to have that kind of release- to acknowledge how much I care for her and want the best for her in her life. She's amazing with Logan, and she will be irreplaceable, but I'm still so greatful for the things she's done for us. I'm not sure I would have made it through this last year without her. She kept me on track, she kept me balanced, and she taught me things I never would have known about parenting. Her family is so lucky to have her, and I feel lucky to have had her and to have known her. That doesn't mean it still doesn't hurt, but I feel like she's given me the tools to do the best job I can do. She really helped bring me back to life when I was in such a hard place last year.

I also found out last week that after we move to GA, it's unlikely that I can keep my job. They will allow me to work from home and come in if needed while we are staying with my parents in PA, but in GA, I'll just be too far and they need someone to be closer to the projects I work on. Now, they do have some potential work coming down the pipe for the CDC in Atlanta, which would be awesome, but it's a big "if." Right now the one girl at work is traveling down there once a week, and she hates flying. It would be perfect for me to work from home on that project and go in once a week to Atlanta to meet with folks and gather info I need. We'll have to wait until June to see if that would be possible, but in the meantime, it's time to build up my job searching efforts.

So there it is. A LOT on my plate, yet I'm still glowing strong (pun intended) :) I think in the past I have had a good sense of when I will flicker, and I don't see that coming down the line. It's a really good place to be in with all this change, a place I haven't been in before when change happens all at once. That's a REALLY good thing.