It's Our God-Forsaken Right

This morning on my drive in to work, "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz came on the radio. I've heard this song a million times, but I'm not sure I've really heard the words until today. I've been thinking a lot lately about the bickering that John and I do and wonder why we have been putting so much energy into mindless arguing. The lyrics in the song sent shivers down my spine- "there's no need to complicate... our time is short" struck a nerve because we are ALWAYS complicating things. We don't have forever with each other. When our time together does end one day, I want to have spent a life together learning and growing from each other through love. I want us to make a change since I feel like we're not doing our best at that.

I started thinking about it more last night when I made a lasagna for dinner and John started off on how it's not "diet food" and questioned why I even made it. It kind of hurt- I spent a lot of time preparing a nice meal, and it's not like I make the dish often, so I don't really understand why he immediately started attacking my choice to make it. I asked him why he did that- why he immediately had to turn to the negative. I think he got it, because he did try to change the conversation by saying that it was very good. It's things like this though that happen regularly that I think we need to make a better effort in avoiding. We pick at each other so much that we pick the person we love into pieces. And you know what? It's out god-forsaken right to be loved, not torn down! Both of us are to blame, and both of us need to work harder at building a happier relationship. And for everything it's worth- I know we can.

I had a really good visit with my friends this weekend. It was fun to "escape" a little and catch up with them. I don't see my old friends nearly enough, but it's nice to see that even though we've all been through change, that things are still pretty much the same. I hope they stay that way.

Since I left John and Logan alone much of the weekend, I really want to spend a lot of time together this coming weekend. We already talked about going blueberry picking, and I'm really excited for that. Hopefully the weather is good for it! Logan absolutely loves blueberries, just like John, so it will be fun to take him. He's been walking more and more everyday, so interested in experiencing the world. It's a beautiful thing to be a part of. I look at him and know that he needs loving parents, and while I think John and I do a great job, showing more love to each other will help Logan to feel more love. After all, it is his God-forsaken right too.